We all have been frustrated and upset at people who have failed us, at ourselves, or at things that simply didn’t work out the way we expected. Sometimes all we need is to vent and cry with someone. Venting to the right person can be the most refreshing soul therapy, but venting to the one who hurt us can be very damaging.
My most precious advice on venting, is to initially deal with a 3rd party individual before sharing emotions with the offender.
I believe that venting is a healthy way to decompress and it can be done wisely. The best ways I vent and don’t hurt anyone are:
Reaching out to a trustworthy friend that can help me with what I’m going through. But most importantly, is to have friends that will build me up in special ways instead of tearing me down. A friend that would take me to a bar to drink out my sorrows is not a reliable one.
Also, the goal of going to a friend is not to simply vent and walk away, but is to listen to your friend’s perspective and find resolution for the problem together. Finding good friends is not an easy task, but it is possible if we look for them in right places. Asking God to send us good friends really works, even if it take some time for it to happen.
Journaling is another way that has helped me enormously. I write and it gives me resolution while I’m writing. Through journaling I can see what is real, what is non sense and what can be done to fix the situation. Sometimes I write extensive emails but I choose to not send those to anyone. I either delete them or send them to myself. Those words can also take form of prayer because most of the times I address them to God.
Prayer. I found that prayer is an amazing way to vent because, hey, God is not judgmental and He can handle anything. I found myself talking to God about deep hurts until He would give me guidance on what to do. Prayer is powerful and effective and sometimes that’s all we need. Like journaling, I sometimes write prayers to God, there is something in writing that makes more sense to me.
Reading. The book of Proverbs in the Bible is an amazing source of wisdom and guidance. It shows us what is foolish and what is wise, so we can choose what path to take. I also enjoy reading articles online or books that relate to my situation.
If we try any of these 4 methods before approaching the situation with the one who hurt us, we might have more success in finding resolution. Doing all 4 steps gives me more resolution, insight and self control to deal with the situation.
The goal of confrontation is to find resolution, but if we are overwhelmed by emotions we won’t perform at our best.
Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day!