The importance of ‘me time’ in a marriage relationship


Photography by Mark Townsend

I love spending alone time in contemplation. Quiet moments bring me peace and a sense of connection with myself that I deeply appreciate. My husband and I came up with a plan that would give me more of that ‘me time’ that I needed.

We sat together and planned what our new schedules would look like and we gave it a try for a few weeks. But like every new plan, we had to revisit it and adjust it until it became perfect.

The results of my alone time are amazing because once I get a good dose of ‘me time’ I can give a lot more love and am more happy and energetic in my relationship.

Here are a few tips to plan ‘me time’ with your spouse or partner:

Communicate your needs but also take in consideration the other party’s needs.

This part is the most important in my opinion because it’s were the magic starts. It takes courage, vulnerability and patience on both ends to create something new in the relationship.

I communicated my needs with my husband but while doing so, I was also taking in consideration his togetherness needs. I was keeping in mind that we are individuals with our own personalities and needs and requesting/expecting a drastic change wouldn’t be the wise way to go.

Try to work on this step with a lot of patience because changes can be hard to implement in a relationship. Always be truthful, loving and considerate while communicating your needs. Think of it this way:

“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” Philippians 2:4

Plan together.

Be open to collaborate together on the new plan. Share your thoughts but also consider the other person’s ideas/needs.

What would you like? Is it a few hours alone every day? Then what would be the best time considering the other person’s schedule?  Talk about it and plan what would work accordingly.

My husband and I worked on a schedule where I get 2 mornings and 2 evenings a week just for myself and I can do anything I want. I’ve been getting coffee with friends, going to the beach, reading, blogging, working on new recipes, or contemplating…and after I’m done with my stuff I miss him so much and want to be around and spend a lot of time together. It’s a win win for both of us.

Work on the plan again and again if necessary

Like I mentioned earlier, a new plan needs improvement until achieving perfection. It’s rare that a plan will work perfectly in the very first try. Communicate often about what is working and what’s not and adjust it to both of your needs.

We went through some adjustments until our schedule came together smoothly.

Change your plan when needed

We are flexible with each other, for instance, if there’s an event I want to go to on a day that is our ‘we day’, I get that day for myself but give a day back just for the two of us.

Give up a me day to stay with your spouse if he/she needs you emotionally or physically. The reward of doing something like this is amazing.

This is what have been working for us and I’m really happy with our current system. Keep in mind that a plan will look different for each couple. Work on it until you find what works best for you both. Maybe you need more time together than time alone, use these tips to make a togetherness plan.

Thanks for reading. Have a beautiful day.

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